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 Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"

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4Nakama

4Nakama


Posts : 34
Join date : 2013-06-29

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PostSubject: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 5:29 am

Name: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"

Age: 25

Bounty: 0

Species: Human

Occupation: Swordsman

Allegiance: Pirate

Home Village/Ocean: West Blue

Appearance:

Johnny stands at a height of 208 cm and has long golden colored hair reaching down to hsi hips. His eyes are a dark red which is a feature which runs through the Cliff family. His attire consists of a black cloth with four blue vertical lines around the bottom part of his face. He also wears a dark blue coat a black skull on the back, he tends to leave this coat open thus showing off his well built body, however his muscles are not a big size. On his right sleeve is a picture of the sun while on the left, is a picture of the moon. For pants he wears a blue pair which have white vertical lines going down them, around his waist is a yellow colored cloth. Tucked into this certain cloth is a red colored sword, it has been said that this sword was not always red, but it hand been colored by blood, and it was not his own blood. For foot wear, he wears a dark blue pair of pointy shoes.

A avatar if you cannot picture the character:

History:

Johnny was born and raised into the East Blue, he was a very energetic young boy who would run around most of the time. He was a big fan of jokes and will always tell one whenever he got the chance. However his parents were selfish, heartless people who couldn't care less about their son. The only thing they saw him useful for was doing their dirty work. Johnny despite his parent's behavior, still loved them dearly and will always complete a job without any questions. As years went by, he began to get less lively and his parents never laughed at his jokes, he was forced to stay in doors and for most of the time sat alone in his room staring through a locked window.

He made his own toys and played with them by himself however once his parents caught gist of this, they began to laugh and made fun of the child. Johnny's toys were taken away and broken. He hated his parents, he hated them with all his heart. He wouldn't leave his room and would sometimes go for days without food.

His parents died due to them getting a little drunk then normal,they began to start trouble in the bar, unfortunately the bar is the place where most people are caught drunk, they got into a useless fight and died a stupid death. He couldn't care less. Even though he had parents he was still alone. He was later adopted by a former pirate who told him many stories about the sea. Johnny at first didn't care, however as months went by, he got more and more interested the too stayed together for many years and Johnny saw him as his father. Once Johnny reached 16, his "father" offered him a chance to go sailing with him, Johnny accepted with a smile.

They set sail the next day, they set sail as soon as the sun began to rise, while at sea, Johnny felt calm and happy. He enjoyed sailing and hearing the waves brush against the raft however while they were going back, it was late at night. The seas were violent and hit against the raft, until it finally broke in half they both fell into the sea. Johnny's "father" tried his best to reach Johnny. Johnny was having a panic attack, what was going on!? Was his thoughts the waves hit against him and he had little knowledge about swimming, he soon fainted.

He awoke back on the island on a bed, it seemed a sailor had found him on sea. Johnny asked where his dad was however the man said he was the only person he saw. Johnny's eyes widened, it couldn't be that....no. There was no evidence. Maybe he was still alive.

Johnny thanked the man and began to look for some sort of combat to protect him at sea. Yes, he was going out to sea to find his lost father. He soon found something intresting, swordsmanship. It looked very useful, searching for the nearest class, after finding one, he quickly applied and began his training. After a few years, once he was satisfied with his skill, he left the class with a sword and knowledge about the swords.

Buying a raft, stronger then the one his father and him were in, he set sail.

Personality:

Johnny is calm and collected man. He tends to not become fazed by most things and at most of the time will always keep a poker face. He will hide his emotions and will only keep his feelings to himself, he's a serious man and will devise plans before running into battle. He hates jokes and does not have a very big sense of humor. When he is angered, he keeps it to himself however he tends to put more force into his attacks. Johnny avoids useless battles and will only fight when he is needed to fight. He does not talk much and will only speak when he feels the time is right.

He can be very merciless and will always go in for the kill. Despite him being a very cold and calm man, he still has manners and can be kind at times. Johnny prefers quite places instead of open and busy ones however he does not mind hanging around familiar faces.

Ship: Raft

Ship Flag: N/A

Devil Fruit: Limited to only three devil fruit users per person
Type: (only if you have a devil fruit)
Effect: (only if you have a devil fruit)


Special Abilities:

-Some knowledge of One Sword Style, such as average stances and attacks preformed by a single sword. He cannot preform long ranged slashes yet however he is good when it comes to short ranged combat.

Learned Techniques (Keep it 1-25):
To be made during RP.

Weapons/Items:
- Sword- Gained from classes

Goals: Find his lost father


Last edited by 4Nakama on Thu Jul 04, 2013 3:37 pm; edited 5 times in total
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4Nakama

4Nakama


Posts : 34
Join date : 2013-06-29

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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 6:44 am

Finished.

Last part of history was a bit rushed.
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Shadow
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Shadow


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Age : 33
Location : Lurking all over the place.

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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 10:16 am

I believe that it does need a bit more of a detail in his history area, as well as maybe a few extra lines as far as personality goes. Also, while you claim that the learned tecks will be made durin RP, I still think you need to give us some detail about his swordsmanship levels. Just "one sword style" is too simple and bland.
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4Nakama

4Nakama


Posts : 34
Join date : 2013-06-29

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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 10:47 am

I see, I added a little more detail on his swordsmanship classes and have added a few more lines to the personality.

Edited.
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Shadow
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Shadow


Posts : 3875
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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 11:50 am

Can you define those average stances a bit more? For example, generic swordsman skills, or is he able to perform things such as long range cuts, slash through thick objects/metals, agility and such? What I'm tryin to say is to explain this a bit better, so someone will get a more deep idea of what your char is capable of doin.
Other than that it's fine, the history is a bit rushed, but it's not a problem, at least I don't see it bein much of an issue. Just what I said above about the swordsmanship and you are good to go.
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4Nakama

4Nakama


Posts : 34
Join date : 2013-06-29

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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 11:57 am

He is not capable of preforming long ranged attacks just yet, since all he knows are average typical short ranged attacks (such as a slash,stab etc). For stances, they are just normal ones, like an attack stance for a defense one.

This history is intended to be a quick summary of his life, hence the reason it seems rushed.

I have edited and added a bit more detail to the One Sword Style ability however if you are looking for more detail or something else, I'll happily edit Smile

Edited.
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Shadow
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Shadow


Posts : 3875
Join date : 2010-03-13
Age : 33
Location : Lurking all over the place.

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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 12:01 pm

Well, my belief is that, especially in the abilities section, we need to be precise, because in the battle, it's those information that will be used. But then again, it's not like you posted some big-time New World pirate or somethin, so I guess it's alright. You are free to add a bit more detail, as long as you don't get away from what you already posted about what he is capable of doin of course, anyway, with that in mind, I say ...
APPROVED.
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Cryptic Terror

Cryptic Terror


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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 2:07 pm

NOTES:

"Getting drunk and doing stupid stuff" is a bit of an ungraceful dismissal. Either commit to the impact of their death by elaborating or don't mention it at all. Details need purpose. Don't mention something then brush it under a rug. Also, Marines are after him because he defended himself against being robbed by bandits? Shouldn't the Marines be after the bandits since they are the actual criminals? These vague little dead ends make a character turn to cardboard. If you can't commit to your character, RPing will be bit bland. If you say "it is a bit rushed", that means you have not devoted adequate time or detail to the character, making it unfinished, at which point it should be labeled "Work In Porcess (WIP)", until such a time as you have time to properly complete the character.
I know you're eager to "get approval out of the way" so you can have fun and RP but the approval process isn't to annoy you and nitpick things that do not matter, it is to help you get to know your character and to help others to do so as well. You need to know where you have been before you know where you are going. Next time, take the time to really get to know your character and don't look at their history and personality page as a chore. Sometimes making the character can be as much fun as RPing with it. When you start writing and getting into their story, it makes you ask interesting questions that really develop the character.
If you are not going to list formal techniques, at least give a range of abilities, scale of strength, and means of training. The "Special Abilities" section does not necessarily refer to combat skills - this is another way to introduce quirks and layers of dimension in your character. Perhaps they are an excellent knot tier, can remove skin with a flaying knife, have advanced surgical skills, play violin, are good a magical illusions, an excellent marksman with a bow, have a fast connection with animals, are good at strategy or math ... any little quirk that sets this guy apart from the crowd can go in this section.
Do not rush this and do not save everything for RP - while RPing your way into abilities and character complexity is good, you need something here for others to reference, you need a starting point ... and as you RP up your skills, you can add those to the sheet ... but don't just elect to not deal with it. Other players need and deserve to know what they are up against. This sheet really is to help you and others. Do try to get to know this swordsman a little better and have fun!
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4Nakama

4Nakama


Posts : 34
Join date : 2013-06-29

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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitimeThu Jul 04, 2013 3:28 pm

Tbh, the history was meant to be simple and clean, not too much detail but at the same time doesn't lack any important ones. I was thinking on improving the history later on and maybe reveal some things about the character which is not yet on the app.

However your post made me realize I really should work more on some parts on my apps rather then see them as a drag.

Thanks for pointing that small bit in the history, I knew ever since I typed it, that I'll have to change it. I was hoping I could get away with it.

I edited.
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PostSubject: Re: Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"    Johnny Von Cliff "Crimson Blade"  Icon_minitime

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