One Piece RP - Race to the Grand Line
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 Tom Ravenblack

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PostSubject: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeTue Dec 24, 2013 12:38 pm

Name : Tom '' Surgeon of Death '' Ravenblack

Age: 17

Bounty: 10 000 Belli

Species: Human

Occupation: Doctor

Allegiance: Pirate

Ocean : East Blue

Appearance :  Tom is a muscular person of average height and weight. He's got medium length , brown , wavy hair. His eyes are also brown and seem to have a certain depth to them. His nose is small and smooth. His lips are thin and short and his teeth are white and formed straightly. His shoulders are rather broad. His arms are also very muscular and his wrists are also quite wide. His chest is wide and full of scars and cuts. His legs are lengthy and elegant. His feet are somewhat wider than most people but average in length.

History: Tom was born in Loguetown to a noble family. His parents were rich and were able to financially support Tom in everything apart from the one thing he craved most for ; adventure. They refused to allow Tom to venture far from home because they were afraid something bad would happen to him. One day , there was a large marine raid in the town due to numerous reports of piracy. The navy soldiers searched every house thoroughly for any signs of pirates. Unfortunately , the marines didn't have any information on their targets and mistook a group of homeless people for pirates. They were housed by an inkeeper who happened to be a friend of Tom's parents. The marines immediately accused him of consorting with pirates. Tom's parents took the inkeeper's side but were unable to explain the situation to the marines. When they refused to surrender , the navy soldiers opened fire and killed them. Seeing this dreadful event take place from his hiding place under the table , Tom swore to become a pirate himself and avenge his parents' deaths. Unable to restrain his anger , Tom emerged from his hiding place and leaped onto one of the navy soldiers. He was quickly shaken off and struck by a club. Tom woke up half an hour later with a painful headache. As he rose from the floor , he noticed a small leather bag lying in the floor. It must have fallen out of one of the marines' pockets he thought. He scurried across the floor and grabbed the bag. It held something squishy and round. As he opened the bag , he saw a strange looking fruit with a strange pattern. It was coloured white with small red crosses scattered in a spiral pattern. Without thinking he ate the fruit. Soon after he realised it was one of the infamous devil fruits which offered a certain power in exchange for losing the ability to swim. Since that day , he trained with his uncle who was a renowned swordsman and an ex Cipher Poll agent until he came of age and decided to leave his home town. His uncle taught him the very basics of Rokushiki and trained him in the usage of one sword. Also , he received medical training from an old family doctor who retired after Tom's parents passed away. Upon entering the Grand Line , Tom had a short skirmish with a marine battleship and managed to escape after taking down a dozen of navy soldiers. Consequently , he gained a bounty. After being chased by a couple of marine officers , he decided to lay low for a while and luckily managed to find a courier in possession of an air balloon whom he bribed to take him to North Blue which according to rumors doesn't host many marine quarters.

Personality: Tom is a cunning man who keeps his cool even in most severe situations. He doesn't get angry easily but hates being insulted. He is fond of solving riddles and is usually very good at analyzing a situation and working out the best options to deal with it. He is also able to rally troops or raise morale with relative ease. Due to his rigorous trainings , he has a relatively high pain threshold and is also very patient. He prefers to plan events rather than going along with them. He usually gets along with people really well and makes friends easily.
                 
Ship : Silver Scythe ( Small rowboat )

Ship Flag:  The flag has a jolly roger with two scythes crossing at the middle , both pointing downwards. The cover is black and the roger has a silver hood.

Devil Fruit: Ope Ope no Mi
type: paramecia
effect: Allows the user to create a spherical room in which he has complete control over placement and orientation of the objects located inside. The user can also use weapons in conjunction with the powers of the fruit.

Special abilities: One sword style ( Ittoryu)
Learned techniques: Room - allows the user to create a spherical room as a basis for his abilites.The diameter of the sphere is 5 meters. A weapon attack outside or inside the Room will cause everything inside the Room to get cut in the axis of the swung weapon. For example , a horizontal swing of a blade will cause everything inside the room to be sliced horizontally regardless of distance.  , Shambles - using this ability , the user can switch objects in the Room , Takt - allows the user to move objects or lift them into the air withing the Room, Scan - using this ability , the user can scan the environment for certain objects which can later be swapped with Shambles , Soru - a fast straight lined dash , Ittoryu Iai : Shishi Sonson - a fast draw , cut and sheathe technique done from a static position mostly to counter charging attackers.

Weapons: Nonachi Katana , Hidden Blade

Goal: Become a Shichibukai


Last edited by karlo786 on Fri Dec 27, 2013 3:39 pm; edited 20 times in total
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Rodoku
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Posts : 2002
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 27
Location : Peru

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PostSubject: Re: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeTue Dec 24, 2013 1:14 pm

Please increase the lenght of your personality to at least one good paragraph. Describe the capabilities of each of your techniques separately, dont assume that everyone in the site knows what Shambles does.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeTue Dec 24, 2013 2:22 pm

Edited personality and techniques.
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Rodoku
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PostSubject: Re: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeTue Dec 24, 2013 5:32 pm

There is no justification in his history for him to have Soru... Which is a technique that is usually exclusive to some groups of people (such as marines, organizations and other clans). Explain how he learnt it.

How does he produce this electric shock for CounterShock? Where does the voltage come from?

As this is a starting character, I would ask you to please withdraw the "Mes" technique until later development, cause we dont want you stealing all people's hearts and inside organs since the start right? That seems like a pretty advanced technique.

On another note, please mention the specific maximum size of the Ope Ope Room that is being created at the current level of skill that your character has.
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PostSubject: Re: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeWed Dec 25, 2013 5:32 am

Fixed and edited everything. This is my first time roleplaying on a forum so thanks for the help and guidelines.
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Rodoku
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PostSubject: Re: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeThu Dec 26, 2013 3:30 pm

Umm I think Im going to have to ask you to retire the counter shock one because it doesnt make much sense. We have Goro Goro no mi users who cab do that kind of stuff and there are other methods to obtain an electrick shocm effect, but this way is too forced...

other than that, everything looks fine
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PostSubject: Re: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeThu Dec 26, 2013 5:08 pm

Removed the Counter Shock technique.
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Rodoku
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Rodoku


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Age : 27
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PostSubject: Re: Tom Ravenblack   Tom Ravenblack Icon_minitimeFri Dec 27, 2013 10:22 am

Okay, then APPROVED.
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